Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
only you would photoshop your dick
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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