Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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