Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
