Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
