Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
