it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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