my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She's the barista slut.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
