wat bout pragnant strippers??
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Randomize
