i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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