I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
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that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
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I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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