Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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