I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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