Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
