i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
When did we convert life to cartoon?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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