I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
