If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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