Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
