I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
