you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
