Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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