She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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