I think I died a long time ago.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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