talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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