i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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