I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I didn't notice because vodka
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
