I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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