I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Can you repeat that, but with context?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
