hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
