her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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