shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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