he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
