if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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