Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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