Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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