Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize