You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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