oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize