They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
what the fuck happened to the tacos
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
