There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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