I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
