You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
