He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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