never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Randomize
