I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
