So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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