Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
