This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
