Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I see more hoeing in ur future
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize