i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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