ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
dude i'm inner monologue high
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
