five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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