You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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