did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
did i walk over a car last night?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Is Oprah even human
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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