Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
