I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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