my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
