i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm having to shit out rocks
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