small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
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I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
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And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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