the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
