There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
His nipple licking is glorious
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