I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
