How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
