it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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