I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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