i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
