dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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