I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
