I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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